The elusive goal of healthcare reform in America is to improve access and quality while reducing costs.

Egghead liberals, deep state policy makers, and over educated actuaries argue that universal healthcare, or something like what the ACA was intended to become, would accomplish this by vastly increasing the pool of people with health insurance.

But real patriots, like Ted Cruz, wouldn’t have anything to do with this. There were many obvious problems with the ACA. First, it was inspired by a black man, and a black man, even one who was elected POTUS, telling white conservative men how to think about healthcare is simply unacceptable. Second .. well does Ted Cruz really need a second?

So the solution drummed up by conservatives like Ted Cruz was simple: rename “ACA” to “Obamacare” (kind of synonymous to the “black man who is going to rape your daughter” care), and then, to sound intelligent, say that Obamacare will cost too much to be affordable, and the put in place roadblocks to make it cost too much to be affordable.

Of course, there is the little hypocrisy that those conservative legislators, such as Ted Cruz, have great health plans for themselves. This presents something of a dilemma. How can Ted Cruz serve as a role model for Texans to whom he denies health insurance while he himself has a great insurance plan?

The answer is simple: have Ted Cruz put every uninsured Texan on his medical plan.

That’s right. Adding the millions of uninsured Texans to his healthcare plan will the the PERFECT FIX to the healthcare crisis, at least in Texas.

Just imagine what will happen:

• Texans will be thrilled with access to good, high quality healthcare and love him for it.
• Ted Cruz will totally freak out when he receives the bill for several million dollars to cover the premiums on his plan. It will sting like a wasp up his butt.
• Ted Cruz will say “yikes, I need to fix this, but I can’t abruptly drop people from my plan without them realizing that I am a total dick”. So then Ted Cruz suddenly will be motivated to develop the ACA into a successful plan that works for everyone.

By putting all uninsured Texans on his medical insurance plan, Ted Cruz will be inspired to work with Democrats to quickly develop effective solutions to healthcare, in the same way that he would seek quick and effective solutions to escaping a hornets nest, or overcoming a really bad hemorrhoid, or realizing that many Texas conservatives who voted to reelect Greg Abbott as governor also voted for Beto, and not Cruz, for senator. So let’s help Ted Cruz see the light. Once he puts all uninsured Texans on his healthcare plan, the health insurance crisis in Texas will be fixed quicker than the Texas weather changes. #ownyourabsurdity