Breaking: Jesus Christ resigns as Our Lord And Savior!!! Austin, TX, September 1, 2021. Many good people (Christians and non-Christians alike) awoke this morning to the startling news that Jesus Christ has resigned from his post as Our Lord And Savior. In making his announcement, OLJC said "I have had it with those Republicans in Texas who think they are better Christians than me, the one who they supposedly look up to."
OLJC specifically criticized several "Christian Conservatives" serving in the Texas house and senate, as well as Texas governor Greg Abbot.
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"These guys are nuts" claimed OLJC. "I mean, just look at the lapel pin that Lt Governor Dan Patrick wears. He calls himself a 'principled conservative'. He's just a principled dickhead. I don't want any association with him."