Stuck being married to a high profile jerk? Don’t fret .. get a “secret” divorce”.

The #metoo movement and the sexual abuse allegations against Brett Kabanaugh and others has made one things very clear: there are many men in power who are total jerks when it comes to women.

Take the Senate Judiciary Committee. The GOP majority of all white men has been dismissive of the allegations of sexual assault committed by SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh. And now we get to watch as this issue gets shoved up their asses so hard they’ll wish they never sought office.

But what about the women married to these jerks. There are many women who have to quietly put up with their husbands being dismissive of women’s concerns and rights, or who are out and out hateful of women, or immigrants, or the poor, or whatever. Put simply, they are married to men whose values they despise and resent how their husbands put the desire for power ahead of the need to be morally decent.

These women really want to divorce the SOB’s they are married to. But that is probably not feasible, not to mention outright dangerous.

But #ownyourabsurdity is here to help. They may not be able to get a divorce, but they can get a SECRET DIVORCE.

A secret divorce will provide:

• The peace of mind that you do not need to be emotionally connected to this SOB.
• The mental stability to put up with him without having to resort to drugs or violence.
• The notion that when he is out of office, you can kick his ass then file for a real divorce.

So keep your eyes pealed for 3 types of SECRET DIVORCES:
$100 – A secret divorce requested by the spouse of a jerk.
$50 – A secret divorce on behalf of the spouse of a jerk.
$25 – “I wish she would divorce that jerk” acknowledgement.

Details coming soon.