Birther protection!!!

Birther protection
Protect yourself now!! Get the Trump certificate that will protect you from birthers.
Imagine, life is great!! Trump is president. You have your gun. You have your double wide. You have your church. The American flag is flying high outside your front door. And you and your neighborhood finally got rid of the pesky “undesirables”.

Then suddenly people start acting strange around you. At church conversations are polite but terse with no eye contact. At the corner store you just get a small smile from your favorite cashier. No one calls anymore and you don’t get an invite to the upcoming red-white-and blue Sunday social at your church.

What happened??

The worst of all possibilities happened: A BIRTHER HAS ACCUSED YOU OF NOT BEING BORN IN THE USA!!!

Sarah Palin
Even Sarah Palin could be accused of not being an American by a birther and not be able to defend herself without Trump’s support.
That’s right!!! You were born in the USA. You have lived in the USA all your life. You have a birth certificate, SSN, driver’s license, and someday were even planning to apply for a passport. But so what!? You can’t disprove a negative. If someone accuses you of not being born in the USA, you’re screwed. All they have say is that your documents are forgeries, and therefore “you don’t belong here”. Everything you have that “proves” you were born in the USA is fake, so you too must be fake.

And with all the inaccuracies in the ICE database, it is even more likely that an honest American citizen like you will be swept up in a raid.

What do you do??? Lucky for you, #ownyourabsurdity has your back. For a mere $500 one time fee plus and annual $200 “maintenance fee” the Donald Trump Services Organization will vouch that you are who you say who you are.

Birther protection
Don’t wait until you are accused. Protect yourself now!!!
How does it work? Simple – birthers may be out to get you, but they LOVE Donald Trump. Once they see your certificate, they’ll know that Donald has your back and will find someone else to accuse. Easy!!!

How do you apply?

  1. Send $500, a copy of your birth certificate, driver’s license, front and back of all credit cards, and your SSN card to Trump services (address forthcoming).
  2. Don’t have your SSN card? Send a $100 bill with your SSN written on the back.
  3. If you don’t have a birth certificate, send $5000, your birth date and city/state of birth and we will still vouch for you.
  4. Every year you will be assessed a $200 maintenance fee ($2000 if you don’t have a birth certificate).

Don’t wait until you are accused by a birther. Act now!!!!