NEW: WALL SCHMALL!!! Let’s face it, the appeal of the wall is that it is a tangible solution to a problem that it can’t fix. It will, however, be a feather in the cap of those pundits who make a killing stoking rage and anxiety about immigration, and then turn around and rake in more dough stoking more rage and anxiety.
A much more effective solution than a wall is a Black Box from #ownyourabsurdity . A black box does exactly what a wall is intended to do, only better, and for a fraction of the price. Our black boxes are designed by the best mathematicians, physicists, wizards, warlocks, and mystics money can buy. And the way they work is simple: In one end you feed conflicting requirements, unrealistic expectations, and worst case fears. Out the other end comes the perfect solution.
All you get with a wall is .. well .. a wall.
Have you ever been in the embarrassing situation of committing to something you can’t deliver? Then you need to check out our line of Black Boxes.
And while the down payment alone for the wall is five billion dollars, a black box will cost a mere five million.
Say you are POTUS and you have committed to driving tax reform. What you know is
- You made promises that tax reform would “fix” things that may not be broken, or which are broken in ways you don’t understand
- You told people that your tax reforms would be “beautiful” even though they look ugly
- You fantasize that people will believe in your tax reform because they believe in you, ignoring the fact they don’t believe in you.
What do you do? Buy one of our BLACK BOXES!!! Adding a black box to your process will make everything work out fine. Telling people you are using a “black box” to develop policy is like promising them the impossible, and saying it in such a way that they believe you.
Here is how it works:
First you identify a bunch of conflicting and unrealistic, if not impossible requirements.
Next you enter those requirements into one of our specially designed “Black Boxes”
And what comes out the other side is like a colorful rainbow.
But don’t go cheap with your black boxes. Our line of boxes are specially engineered by the same people who designed the square circle. They have special, proprietary properties that will help ensure success. And they are the tool of choice for those who have mastered “The Art Of The Lie”. People who purchase and use our black boxes are not cheap and desperate. They are bold and eager for self promotion and advancement.
Black boxes are affordably priced based on the circumstances you are in. Here are a few examples:
- $100 – you promised your wife you would make her dinner when you had already promised your girlfriend you would take her to a nice restaurant.
- $4000 – you took $1000 from a friend promising to fix his car. You already spent the money on meth and you don’t know the first thing about cars. And your friend is a cop.
- $25 million – you are POTUS and you promised to repeal and replace Obamacare with “something beautiful” – POTUS did not purchase a black box and we all know what happened.
- $50 million – you are POTUS and have promised a tax reform package that will be “something beautiful”. What we got was so beautiful that no Republican wanted to run on its success. See what happens when you don’t purchase a black box?
Caveat: Black Boxes only work for those who believe. No refunds.
So don’t wait .. contact us about your black boxes today!!!