Be A “Real Conservative”

Paul Ryan
Ignore the traitor Paul Ryan.
Trump supporters are being unfairly labelled as “fear mongers”, “hypocrites”, and “angry idiots”. Liberals, elitists, and even traitors in the GOP make light of observations, such as a gun rights activist and Trump supporter wondering why the government didn’t prevent his kid from having access to a pistol; or a Trump supporter who refused to sign up for health insurance wondering why she does not health insurance; or Trump supporters who define liberty only in terms of something that is under threat.

In short, Trump supporters are being unfairly portrayed as angry, shallow losers who don’t know how to manage their own lives and look to Trump to vent their rage. These unfair accusations arise from the baseless expectations that Trump supporters should be forced to understand elitist concepts like “enlightened self interest” (whatever the heck that is) and be responsible for the consequences of their decisions and actions.

The fallout is the perception that Trump supporters don’t really know what a “conservative” is.

But you are in luck. Own Your Absurdity Press is producing a book that clearly explains what a conservative is. And for a mere $40 you can have your own copy.

See the light
Everyone will know that you have received a special anointment from Trump.
Gold Plated Bible
Want to REALLY impress others? Get a gold plated version for only $80,000.
Trump Bible
When your friends, family, and enemies see you with this bible, they will know you are a true conservative.
Steve Schmidt
Trump loyalty enforcers will deal with traitors like Steve Schmidt once Trump is president.
The great thing about this book is that you don’t have to read it, let alone understand it. Just by owning it everyone will know that you are a true conservative, and your logic and sensibilities as a conservative are beyond question.

With this book in your possession, you can stand up to traitors like GOP consultant Steve Schmidt, who recently commented “The magnitude of the disgrace” of the Trump candidacy has “exposed the intellectual rot in the Republican party …”. You don’t need to argue with him. Just show up at his next rally, book signing, or interview and hold up this book. Then watch him collapse in a crying fit and start to plead for forgiveness and mercy.

Trump loyalty enforcement squad.
Trump loyalty enforcement squad.
Beware though .. this book should be treated as a sacred text, and whatever insights and special knowledge it reveals to you should only be shared with others who have purchased it. If you get caught sharing it with others who have not purchased it, you risk being rightfully charged with a treasonable offense by the Trump loyalty enforcers.

Honor thy Trump
Honor thy Trump
If you are concerned that you will be so inspired by the book that you might share its insights with folks who have not purchased it, you may want to consider purchasing a TTI (Trump Treason Insurance) policy for your protection.

Remember, if you have friends or family that are very angry about threats to their “liberty” and you suspect they might be confusing “liberty” with “libido”, have them check out Trump’s VOD (Virgin On Demand) and TCV (Trump Certified Virgin) programs.