As a successful businessman, Trump knows to go straight to the root of the problem. For that reason he is offering several tools and services to direct more sex to his supporters. Check out these great tools:
For Men:Long ago Trump took the advice of a close family friend and made sure that he had access to 72 virgins whenever and wherever he wanted. These days all he needs to do is text a code to an unlisted number with a time and place and a virgin will be there to meet him. You know from Trump’s energy and virility that he is getting lots of sex. And he believes that you should get lots of sex. So Trump and his Make America Great Again (‘MAGA’) organization will be working hard on a plan for you too to have access to Virgins On Demand (‘VOD’). VOD subscriptions will ensure a virgin* will be waiting for you at a designated place and time with a simple text message. Prices will be cheap .. starting at a mere $500 per hour. And for a little more you can enjoy your encounter in the luxury of a Trump hotel.
So keep your eyes peeled for VOD subscriptions. Once Trump is president, they will available in your neighborhood before you know it.
* Virgins provided through Trump Certified Virgin (TCV) program.
For Women:Be A Virgin Again through the “Trump Certified Virgin (TCV)” program. Did you long ago lose your virginity? Would you like it back? Trump and the MAGA campaign will be looking for virgins for its VOD program. For a modest fee Trump will certify you as a “Trump Certified Virgin”. With this certification you can earn tons of money working for Trump. All you need to do is be available with an hour’s notice, take a shower and brush your teeth, and show up at a designated location, and let the dollars roll in .. you can earn as much as $50 an hour!!! So be on the lookout for a TCV program in your neighborhood after Trump becomes president.
Hey … are you a REAL VIRGIN? Let us know .. we might have some great opportunities for you.
For Gays and Lesbians:
Let us know who you are so we can put you on a “special list”.