6 indicators that the election is “rigged”

The Trump campaign is on the lookout for indicators that the elections will be “rigged”. Here are 6:

ballotbox1 Your campaign manager said it would be.
2 When you were 6 years old you were forced to eat broccoli when you really wanted chocolate cake.
3 All those people being encouraged to register to vote look different than you.
4 The “liberal media” proved that that your daddy cosigned all those big real estate deals when you said you didn’t need your daddy’s support.
5 Those silly justices determined that the unconstitutional voter suppression laws were unconstitutional.
6 You lose the election.