Protect Your Dignity 2020!!!

John Cornyn even looks like a dick.
That moment when you realize the “true conservative” you voted for is just a sycophant for a crook.

And the “Republicans” in charge are just a bunch of IDIOTS!!!

Ted Cruz promised a lot of things no one understood.
Let’s face it, most adults would be more thoughtful and responsible than those Republicans in charge now. But the GOP primary process doesn’t produce thoughtful or responsible conservative candidates. It produces candidates who stoke anger and rage, but with no ability to effectively govern.

Even state leaders, like Dan Patrick, are embarrassing.
So what to do? You’re not just stuck with these morons and losers. But you are assumed to have same lack of dignity as them.

But at least you can protect yourself and your dignity.

Own Your Absurdity Press (#ownyourabsurdity) has a solution for you. For a mere $50 we will provide you an official “Certificate Of Dignity” that absolves you of any responsibility for the these politicians and their failure to deliver meaningful legislation.

Protect your dignity with one of our certificates .. only $50.
All your friends will want one.
Your friends and family will appreciate that you made the effort to obtain a certificate of dignity. Frame it, put it outside your front door, make a wallet size copy to carry around, put it on a bumper sticker, or even apply it to a t-shirt. Where ever you display it, you will never have to justify the irrational and absurd characters you voted for, or try to rationalize the complete failure of their policies. So be ready to order your certificate soon.