What’s behind the extensive toilet flushing at the white house?

Recently Donald Trump announced a disturbing observation: that Americans were using far too much water because they were flushing toilets 10 to 15 times instead of only once.

This would certainly explain a cause of the overuse of a major resource: water. Reducing unnecessary flushes could practically save this precious resource.

But how wide spread is this problem?

#ownyourabsurdity has done some research and determined that the “problem” is largely confined to the White House and really started with the Trump administration.

And, after careful analysis, we believe we have the explanation: Apparently early in his administration, while dozing off during a lecture about that it means to “defend the constitution”, Donald Trump mumbled “the constitution is no better than toilet paper that should be flushed down the toilet.”

Being totally committed to Trump, boot licker Stephen Miller took it upon himself to find any copies of the constitution at the white house, carefully sliced them into toilet paper wide sheets, and sewed them into rolls of toilet paper.

When these ran out, he utilized the child labor at the detention centers at the US southern border to make the special parchment used for the original constitution, then carefully print the great words of the constitution.

Policy makers are at a loss as to what to do. At this point Trump assumes that the US Constitution is used by toilet paper for everyone. So for the duration policy makers take the “path of least resistance” and simply let Trump make water usage an issue.